17- Happiness- How to be happy right now- you don’t have to postpone your happy. How to give yourself an attitude adjustment

Podcast #17 Show Notes
Weight Loss Tiki Podcast
Hosted By: Kary Has
Podcast Episode: 17- Happiness
Sponsored By: The Best Life Weight Loss Plan & Interactive Journal

Short Story Featured: Harriet Cooper’s story about “The Little Voice”, In Chicken Soup for the Soul Power of Positive Thinking
Link:

Moral of the story:
We can motivate ourselves from a place of kindness and positivity
or we can shout at ourselves, call our self broken and be miserable
how are you self motivating?
what’s been your tone with yourself thus far?
99% of us have been talking negatively to ourselves
And do you know what- whatever we have been doing so far-
it hasn’t worked
let’s be open to try something new
be open to trying it out…
it’s about time to get our Happy on
Lesson
we’ve talked the last 16 weeks about
how to implement habits into your life that you are willing to do the rest of your life
repetition leading to on purpose automatic behavior
focusing on one habit at a time to prevent overwhelm
making it fun
being kind to yourself along the way
taking ownership of your results
putting yourself out there., expecting to get no’s some times
Looking at no’s as challenges or obstacles, then
how to overcome obstacles you face along the way
Now- we are going to look at our own happiness.

Many people want to be happy
and think becoming thin will create this happiness in their life
or getting that job, or meeting that guy, or completing that task..
Try to start to notice how many times you hear “I’ll bet you’ll be happy when…”
or you tell yourself even… “I’ll just be happy when….”

first, we need to look at WHAT actually makes you happy?
and When you feel happy- why is it?
Would you say it’s when a certain season hits, or your favorite sports team wins, or when you’re in the presence of a certain person?
maybe when you step off the plane at vacation, or give someone you love a great present, that you wrapped with love, while watching lifetime or hallmark movies
when you realize that last recipe was a keeper and went over well with the whole fam.. And they don’t realize it was actually healthy
or your favorite song or movie just happens to be on?
You have unexpected happiness sometimes when you are least expecting it due to a great experience or activity or surprise
or maybe just enjoying a nice day, and afternoon without plans, or perhaps playing monopoly with your family
you notice happiness usually most after having sore sides due to fits of laughter you almost can’t control in moments you share with others
and speaking of others- Do you notice what makes others around you happy-
my favorite example of this I get to enjoy every day- with my dog
we have a little routine
every morning- I let him out to potty
while he’s outside I microwave his breakfast and put it in his bowl
ok back up I should probably explain…
my dog has major food allergies so I started making his food about a year ago- in my instant pot believe it or not
it’s healthy and he goes crazy for it.
I mean we could eat it- it’s got rice and turkey, canned veggies, coconut oil, flax seed and more yummy stuff
I make it ahead for 2 weeks at a time and he gets about a cup in the morning and a cup in the evening- I keep his rationed cups in baggies in my fridge and
the microwave it for 13 seconds then put it in his bowl
he comes in from going potty and is SO EXCITED almost dances all the way to his bowl where his homemade doggie food is waiting for him
I cant help but to laugh every time I see him happily run over to his bowl- it’s precious and it makes me happy EVERYTIME
and laughing an being happy at 5:15am is always a good thing

SO- what if we could be in charge of our own happiness?
and could be 100% happy immediately, right now… at any given moment
Congratulations for listening to this podcast because today you are going to find out how to do exactly that.
And it’s OK
you don’t have to worry.
being happy right now will not negatively affect your motivation
or the ability for you to obtain your goals
in fact
I give you permission to go after your goals- without pain
You can allow yourself to enjoy the entire journey
it is possible
it’s not only possible- it’s preferred.
And SO many people can’t do it.

that negative talk gets in the way
and we feel we have to be in pain or punish ourselves thin
when in fact- that’s what got us in this predicament in the first place
NEGATIVE SELF TALK… doesn’t work
kindness, having fun, opting in for experiences and enjoyment and joy
this is what life is about.
we seek pleasure. We avoid pain. Because we are Human and Smart
a life style change has to be enjoyable or the first second we get- we will quit and never look back
almost anyone can suffer through something short term
for long term results- permanent results- we need to change our perception and slowly implement habits to become part of our life.
if done correctly, and while enjoying the process… we temporarily fall off the wagon for a week or 2 due to vacation, illness, or another life challenge that pops up-
we will look forward to getting back to our system, to our routine
because it makes us feel good.

Being happy right now and enjoying the daily progress we make
will only make the process that much faster- cause you’re having fun
you’re changing and improving your life
this is not a dress rehearsal
your life does not go on hold while your working on you
in fact- if you really learn how to let go, have fun, and enjoy the process
you will find that improving yourself is addictive- and you wont ever be done
every week if yo improve just 1%
it can be exhausting… if you look at it as hard work that you don’t enjoy
and your just counting down until its done
But if it is fun to you, and you allow yourself to enjoy it- you will look at it as a passion
not hard work
it will just be a part of who you are- a goal achiever, a go-getter, a positive role model
a truly happy and fulfilled person
You CAN be
100% happy right now

I’ve got to tell you the story of when I realized I could be 100% happy right now for the first time… it was like a religious experience. The most amazing realization
It was the middle of a very long cold winter- I am a summer person
Ohio Winters can be brutal- less than 0 degrees Fahrenheit
snow on the ground
trees without leaves and no flowers in site
vegetation looks dead
driving is difficult and dirty due to the salt all over the roads and sidewalks
and to top it off- I had just been told by my employer that I was no longer needed-
my company was downsizing- based solely on my position’s zip code
and my zip code wasn’t the right one
I had spent the last couple weeks of my life feeling sorry for myself, pissed and angry I was I this unexpected circumstance
I felt deflated, unwanted, and nervous about my future

But there I was with my sweet amazing husband
in our hot tub
in our backyard- amongst the dead trees
it was dark- and we have lights strewn up in the trees- creates a magical aura
We had adult beverages
great reggae music streaming from our phones

we had a fire in the fire pit
and we were just talking and enjoying each others company
I was in a bathing suit- still not to my goal- but I was in a bathing suit and proud of my progress so far!
and I realized right then- we made the most of what we had
I was, right then, 100% happy
I appreciated everything about that moment, I was really enjoying myself
And I was looking forward to the future whatever it may bring

I realized right then…
no matter what happened or what was next in my life- I could always at any point be 100% happy if I so desired.
If I were in Fiji or Hawaii (or any warm tropical place), with a fruity drink (instead of my light domestic beer)
and a band was playing this song live while fanning us with palm leaves and making us towel animals
it I was in a bigger more extravagant hot tub, maybe a zero gravity tub right on the ocean
and it was summer, warm out, daytime, and I had my ideal body already
that would be good too
but I would still be this happy
I can be 100% happy right now
I don’t have to have unlimited money
or tropical climates, 5 star hotels, or a perfect body. I Can be happy now-

There is no happier than I was right then.
I was warm, laughing, with my love, truly enjoying the moment.
It was all about what you allow yourself to focus on.
Remember – depending on what you decide to focus on- you can always find answers to the questions you seek
If I asked myself why my backyard was better than a Fiji resort-
I COULD find answers to that question
no plane ride
I don’t have to pack
my backyard is free
my family is here
my dog would miss me if I went away
I CAN find answers
I could also find answers to another question if I chose- like why I hate winter
why this winter will never end
Why we need a new hot tub, to shovel more snow,
or how I need to lose 20 more pounds
but I didn’t even notice those things
because my focus was elsewhere
Call me Pollyanna is you want.
I prefer to be pollyanna than
negative Nelly
I mean, when is the last time you heard…. “Wow I really wish I could be more negative like you”
NEVER…. Because nobody ever said it…. Or Ever will
focus on good
appreciate what you have to work with
enjoy the moment you have right now
it is all you have
your past is just a memory and your future hasn’t yet been written
stop telling yourself that you will be happy when….
you deserve to be happy starting right now
no- stop it. I know your resisting. Remember be kind to yourself. I mean it,,,, right now. Be happy and enjoy the ride
remember…. this is not a dress rehearsal

And when you catch yourself focusing on the wrong question-
you simply need to give yourself an attitude adjustment
Yes- that’s right. This is going to be attitude adjustment class 101.
I do this to myself at least once a week. Sometimes once a day.

This is the best way I have found to give yourself an attitude adjustment…
when you catch yourself feeling yucky- ask yourself why, who cares, and so what until you understand why you are feeling yucky
many times we don’t even know why we feel yucky and we cant understand why we just let something go or get ourselves out of a bad mood
we begin to feel frustrated or bitchy- and it sometimes feels like it’s coming at us out of seemingly out of nowhere sometimes
ask yourself WHY and keep going, keep asking until you get to the emotion that is making you feel yuck.
Undeserved hurt… misunderstood… guilt… rejection… shame… disgust
are you making yourself into a victim? Do you feel like you need to explain your side or yourself?
are you seeking validation for being upset? If so- podcast 8- to find out why victim mentality is not helpful
acknowledge what your feeling. And figure out why you are feeling this way

For example- if a customer at work complained about you to your boss
you know It makes you upset, and you know your boss isn’t upset- but you are and you cant let it go
You understand they are one person out of hundreds, and you know it shouldn’t matter- you know this intellectually
So why cant you move on?
you realize after you keep asking yourself why and you answer it- you can get down to the issue… Ask yourself once of these 3 questions till you get to your answer 1. why, 2. so what, and 3. Who cares?
Just like this….
You know your upset
why?
I’m upset that a complaint came through about me
so what?
I’m not worried what my boss will think, he has taken my side. I know I’m not upset because I am fearing getting into trouble
why?
because I take pride in my work and my employer knows that
why?
because I care about my clients and want to give them the best experience possible
why?
because I believe in my product, and I try very hard to make sure every customer has a remarkable experience
who cares?
I do- I want to make sure everyone leaves feeling they had a good experience and I over delivered
so what?
So I know I explained it well and I’m upset because It’s an undeserved complaint against me
I feel wrongfully accused.
or I’m hurt someone would feel I rushed or didn’t care
or possibly- I feel embarrassed because maybe I didn’t give them the best customer service I could have
Whatever the outcome is- whatever you have found to be the root of why you are feeling yucky- acknowledge it.
Now wonder I feel horrible, I felt completely undeserved criticism which hurt my feelings and was frustrating,
OR= Now wonder I feel horrible, I felt embarrassed I wasn’t on my A game and they felt I could have done better
sometimes this is enough to let it go- just understanding why you feel awful
but when it’s not- there are a few more steps we can add in to help shake the undesired negative feeling

this is where I ask you to think of a person you wish you could emulate at a time like this.
someone you look up to, the way they handle their emotions and reactions
They are now going to be your emotional compass.
It could be Jesus, Oprah, Nelson Mandella, Gandhi, or your 3rd grade teacher
Fill in your own WWJCD with their name… and use it when you need it…WHAT WOULD GANDHI DO?
I like using Audrey Hepburn or Jackie Kennedy- because they were understated, sweet, but classy and poised and powerful in every situation
how Audrey react? How would she feel in this situation?
would they laugh? Handle it with poise and empathy, apologize or stand their ground?
You get to chose the way in which you act and react to things that occur in your life.

most likely- unless you chose a serial killer, the person you chose as your emotional guru wouldn’t go off the deep end and get upset
They also most likely will not require the complaining customer’s permission to feel good about themselves
in fact, I’ll bet they would genuinely apologize and wish the customer well,

plus- you have NO idea what that customer is going through
no one really knows what others are going through that day

now- what else can you focus on in this situation?
instead of the negative feeling, or how unfair it is
what can you appreciate right now.
your boss stood up for you, and believes in you
you can appreciate the fact that it did hurt your feelings- because complaints don’t come your way often and thank goodness for that
maybe it was eye opening- and you realize you may need to slow down when explaining certain things, check for understanding,
or create a customer checklist take some responsibility, then move on

No matter where you are- you can always look around and look for something to appreciate, something beautiful
doesn’t have to be expensive or brightly colored or symmetrical
maybe its an old man at a bus stop with the most exquisite smile lines- that just fell asleep sitting up and snored for a second
maybe it’s a kitten playing in a paper bag
or maybe its something Siri says that you weren’t expecting and caused you to gasp and laugh

take a moment to take it in
a beautiful day
a mystical storm cloud formation
birds gliding in the air or singing to each other in the trees

We have all have crap days.
Where it feels like everything goes wrong. Then we focus on what else goes wrong that day
do you call yourself murphy because you feel your life is a living murphys law
or do you hear yourself complain about your day and even get disgusted with your own voice/ words?
have you ever asked someone how their day was and gotten an earful?
don’t be that person
their negativity Is almost contagious and most definitely exhausting
no one wants to hear how awful your day or life is
what if we focused right then on what’s right.
take your life into perspective
are you going to let a rain shower, a spill on your top, or a lost sports game ruin your day
or the loss of a job you hated anyways?
There is always something to be happy about

so back to the attitude adjustment
you’ve changed your focus
you’re trying to think positively
but your still are hanging onto that yuck feeling…
at this point… consider bringing in reinforcements…
I have 4- you may have others
1. music
something about music can uplift my mood. I have an inspirational music list on Wlmotivation.com you can check out
but some examples are:
Life a G6= ok you cant sit around and sulk when that tune comes on- you are gonna get up and boogey
how about ALL I Do is win by DJ Khaled
Hey Ya! By outkast
feels so good by steven tyler

2. look up and smile hard for 30 seconds- tricks your body into being in a better mood
it sounds weird but it’s a scientifically proven fact
you can trick your body into being happier by going thorough the motions of smiling
just try it- let me know
3. which brings me to #3- humor
even if you are crazy mad you cant help but to smile cause you feel so goofy if you try #2
and laughter is really a great medicine
what makes you laugh? Is it talking to a certain person, there’s a couple people that all I have to do is look at them and I crack up
when is the last time you laughed so hard you or someone you were laughing with cried? Or snorted? Or farted? You thought I was gonna say peed didn’t you?
OMG that just makes it funnier!!! When our bodies make unexpected secondary noises due to violent laughter
I can almost laugh that hard watching the show Practical Joksters which completely cracks me up
or anything with Will Farrel
I don’t think its physiologically possible to be laughing and be in a bad mood
How many arguments have you been in that immediately end with a good laugh- intentional or not?

4. we are full circle back to what if eating healthy and exercising actually was like taking a magic happy pill
guess what- it is
do 10 jumping jacks- get the endorphins flowing- its good for you and is scientifically proven to put you in a better mood and make your body excited and happy

THE way I remember the self attitude adjustment 101 is by the synonym= AWFUL… Because that’s how you start out feeling… awful, right?
A- acknowledge. Acknowledge your in a bad mood
W- understand why, give your self a break= keep asking yourself “why” and “so what”, and “who cares” to get to the bottom of why you are feeling a certain way
set a timer for 10 minutes if you need to and sit down with paper and have at it. Keep writing until you get to the goods
F- consider other alternative thoughts/ points of view- This is where you plug in your emotional compass into the “What would ___ do??
Your answer always starts with changing your focus- (Focus on what’s good- on what you are appreciative about or thankful for)
U- use reinforcements to help uplift your mood = music, laughter, movement (dance, look up at ceiling and smile)
L- learn- What have you learned? If you were going to write a Confucius statement based on this attitude adjustment- what would it be?
Such as- Not every customer is always gonna be in love with me. A complaint here and there will keep my ego in check.
if can be silly- but remember we are ok with silly. Silly makes us laugh or smile

Now you have the secret to giving yourself an attitude adjustment. It takes more effort the first couple times you do it but you will get better at it
You do not have to be a slave to a crappy mood
You can chose you mood everyday and chose to be happy
100% happy NOW.
What are you focusing on throughout your day? Is it helping uplift you? Or giving you verification to rename yourself murphy?

according to psychology today posted on June 11th, 2012, the average person complains 15-30 x per day
they go on to describe “to complain” as: expressing pain, grief, or discontent
what do you complain about?
how many times per day
how many times per day do you focus on pain or grievances as opposed to what you appreciate?
the weather, traffic, a sore back, your weight, lack of abundant funds, the work you need to still accomplish or customers your dealing with?
so in psychology today, they go on to suggest wearing a bracelet on one wrist, then moving it to the other arm when you catch yourself complaining.
try this for one day with a friend or family member
try to catch each other and help each other become more aware of your negative thoughts and focuses that you don’t even realize you have
then try to refocus to the positive- and look at the good in your lives
keep track of how many times you need to switch your bracelet
it doesn’t have to be a bracelet you can use a hair band or rubber band

if you realize you have some more work to do to get this down-
consider adding positive thinking as your habit focus this week.

today… I CHOOSE happiness

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Shop, Chop and Roll Meal Plan:
Breakfast:light english muffin- 1/2 sugar free jelly- I like the raspberry, and the other half a couple tbsp of pizza sauce and piece of melted american cheese
Snack: in mason jar= 1/2 c fiber one, dollar tree Tupperware almond milk (1/4 cup), and one with blueberries
Lunch: 6″ veggie sub with mustard
Snack: 1/2 cup low fat cottage cheese, 1/4 cup black beans and 2 tbsp salsa
Dinner: beef and quinoa stir fry
1 cup rice
salad with: bacon bits, hot bacon dressing, mushrooms, green pepper, yellow bell pepper, green onion, mushrooms, and a hard boiled egg made in the instant pot
Snack: sugar free jello with 2 tbsp fat free whipped topping
Calorie Content for the Day: 1520
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Question to consider until next week…

What is your spirit animal? Click To Tweet

Don’t miss next week when we will discuss:
recommitment (when you fall off the wagon- how to get back on)
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Show Notes Bonus Features…

Recipes:
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*From the MyFitnessPal Blog

Beef & Quinoa Stir Fry- 377 calories
serves 4

ingrediants:
1 cup quinoa
1 tbsp olive oil
1 cup yellow onion- chopped
3 cloves garlic minced
1 each yellow, organge, and green pepper chopped
1 lb lean beef tenderloin cut into thin strips
1 cup beef broth
1/4 cup chopped basil
salt and pepper to taste

– Cook quinoa according to package directions- set aside

– In wok or skillet on med-high heat- add onion & garlic- cook 2 minutes

– Add peppers- cook 2 minutes

-Add beef- cook 2 more minutes, stirring frequently

– Add broth- bring to simmer (2 min)

– Cook until steak cooked through

– Remove from heat, stir in basil
Serve over quinoa

1 serving = 1 1/2 cup beef stir fry and 1/2 cup quinoa

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Shopping made super easy- Below are products mentioned on the podcast
Click on the photo for more info or to buy immediately from Amazon 😉

Fiber One

wide mouth mason jars

dressing tupperware

Instant pot picture/ link

cooler

Wok

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